The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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