She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
