bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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