My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
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