I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize
