Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
