I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Randomize
