I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
