i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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