Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
