it wasn't lemon gatorade
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Randomize
