Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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