Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
When are your genitals available?
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
