I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Randomize
