i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
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