the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
