Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
