Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
i barfeds in our rink
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Randomize
