Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
