Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
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