mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
