I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
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