Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Randomize