If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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