dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
