He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Randomize
