Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
no you cant smoke seaweed
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
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