I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
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