Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Just invented taco cereal.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize