i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
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