so that wasnt chicken after all
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
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