these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Everclear isn't food dammit
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
