She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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