i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Randomize
