It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
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