I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
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