I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
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