Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
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