On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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