bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
