If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Randomize