I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
