am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
