That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
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