I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize