I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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