I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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