i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Watching her eat just hurts me
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
