No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
