Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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