And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
