Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
