conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Randomize
