we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
