wanna go halves on a baby?
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
fuck your aforementioned shoe
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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