He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
That accounts for only three of the penises
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Randomize
