i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
