do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Randomize
