I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Randomize
