how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
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