If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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