I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
