I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
