Do you still have your period?
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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