I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize