And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
