I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
The feeling are messing with the penis
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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