Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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