i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
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