You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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