You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
