I love black thongs
How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Randomize
