Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Randomize
