you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Randomize
