talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize