He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Is it because I queefed?
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Randomize
