if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Randomize
