It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
