I should be sponsored by Trojan
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
