My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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