Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
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